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Singularity Watch: Beating Death

Despite all the work being done to save us from our eventual demise (untimely or otherwise), we’re not there yet. I’m sure someday we will be immortal, but at this point we still need to plan for our trip to the happy hunting grounds, Rainbow Bridge,  Valhalla, or wherever your end of life scenario takes you.

How does one get one’s affairs in order for such a thing? One thing you can do is get everything off your chest that has been bugging you. And you can do it well ahead of time so all that negative energy won’t work itself into an ulcer while you’re still alive.

Okay, excellent. How do we do it?

Easy, head over to deathswitch.com. Here you can compose a message to a loved (or hated) one that contains something you didn’t have the balls to tell them while you were alive. Isn’t that handy? And how does deathswitch know when to forward the messages? How does it know when you’ve died? Well, throughout your life the site will periodically send an email to you asking you to verify your state of being. If you don’t respond, they’ll forward the emails to your loved and hated ones.

This system does have its flaws. Can you imagine if you’re on vacation when the prompt comes in? And one of your on-my-deathbed wishes was a kissoff to your boss? Eek! You might want to change your preferences before you go. Great. One more thing  to remember. You’ve already got an extra two week’s worth of work to do on that last day before you take off . Here’s what I usually forget to do: hire a dog sitter, inform the USPS, ask the neighbors to bring in the newspaper every night, put the lights on a timer, set the vacation message on the email application, check the plants’ automatic watering system. Unfortunately screwing up on this deathswitch thing might result in something  worse than a dried up philodendron. Course it might be kind of cool to come home to non-existence. You could finally check “dharma bumming” off your life list. Might want to think about it.

Sue Lange

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